#I'm happy for them but at the same time I want to cry

[deathbxnny]

Hi I just wanted to say I loved the arcane adhd headcannons u wrote, the viktor one made me cry bc I want to be seen like that sooo bad. Do u think u could do some more characters? No pressure tho ur an amazing writer

Arcane characters with an S/o who has ADHD. | Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko x Gn!Reader

(Previous part)

Aww, I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the last part, anon! I hope this is to your liking as well!<33

Content: Fluff, ADHD, established romantic relationships, sfw

Reader has no mentioned pronouns.

((Not proofread))

》CAITLYN

She noticed from the start that you were a little different from everyone else. Not that she necessarily cared much about it. You were still you after all, and your diagnosis is just a part of you she considers endearing.

With that said, Caitlyn always listens to your needs very closely and does everything in her power to help you out with them. She'll get you anything you ask for in hopes of making life easier for you. Whether it's medical help or just something to help with your fidgeting in general, you'll have it in no time with her.

Cait can, therefore, come off as kind of overbearing or overprotective at first. She wants you to lead a smooth and successful life, so she'll always be around to make any task doable for you. Procrastination does not exist when she's there, to say the least.

Her patience is an important part of your relationship that's practically invaluable. Your fidgety and unfocused nature took a moment for her to get used to, but she never makes a big deal out of it. Instead, she simply adapts to your needs and learns to cherish them as well.

》JINX

Probably the most understanding out of everyone, albeit in the most chaotic way possible. You two are a rather troubling duo, as she herself isn't in the best position to help you out properly. Her ideas are always outlandish yet somehow still work out in the end anyways, which is rather impressive.

You're both very fidgety, but she makes up for it with her hyper awareness. Procrastination is never a thing with her, considering how focused she always is on every project she has and so it becomes somewhat of a normal thing for you to simply work in the same space together, even if it's with just music playing in the background in-between you two.

She's the last person to ever treat you any differently for your diagnosis and doesn't ever let you feel bad for it either. You accept her, and she accepts you. Anyone that tries shaming you for it is as good as dead anyway.

You two learn how to take care of each other better than anyone else ever could. Jinx may not be able to help you out like a professional doctor could, but she'll do anything to help you out no matter what forever.

》EKKO

He doesn't entirely get it at first, mainly as he was always surrounded by people who were rather unique in their own way. But as always with anything, he still does his best to learn everything he needs to about your diagnosis and how he can help you with the resources he has. Which aren't many, but his creativity truly shines at times when it comes to you.

You're not treated any differently from everyone else, and he sure as hell doesn't allow anyone to do that either. You are normal, just with more needs that he tends to carefully. So whether it's your inability to focus well or stay still for a long time, he'll find a way to make things easier. He understands your procrastination and doesn't really push you to do things unless it's very important. But he'll work with you on any projects or missions you may have.

His patience is endless for you and his kindness even more so. He understands if you feel frustrated sometimes and tries his best to soothe you when your emotions are a little harder to process. He'll let you fidget and be yourself as much as you want to, never the type to stop you. You should be yourself around him, and he appreciates how vulnerable you are with that.

Ekko loves you no matter how hard things can get with your diagnosis. He takes every challenge on with ease and never judges you for it either.

[epickiya722]

Folks, you're not going to like what I have to say. I just know it and I'm warning you of that. I said it once before, but leaks really do make some folks act out in ways that I can't understand. We ain't even got a full translation and already people are saying this ship is canon and that ship is canon... and whatever else. Jumping to conclusions when you don't even have all the facts.

Look, I'm not saying Hori is the best writer. I'm not saying Izuku and Ochako is a bad ship (it's not, there's worse... a lot worse).

But I do think some people are jumping ten steps ahead and I doubt that they are canon romantically. This isn't me being in denial because I could care less about the ship. It's not a ship that makes me sit up at night and cry and want to punch a wall and harass people. No ship for me does.

So far, from what I can gather from the very little information Izuku wants to see Ochako more because... THEY LITERALLY HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER A LOT. In the last chapter, Izuku states that the class haven't been able to catch up and whatnot because over the years they got busy with their careers. The last time they probably had a proper conversation was in high school.

Izuku and Ochako wanting to meet up more doesn't automatically mean they're going to date. Let's not forget, Ochako is one of the first people to become a close friend of Izuku's in their first year. They clicked because they were so similar. They mirror each other even!

They're best friends if anything and wouldn't you want to see your best friend after not seeing them for a long time?

So far, it just feels that this epilogue is them accepting their own feelings about everything that has happened, like a self-reflection and self-acceptance type of deal.

Sometimes, you realize something about yourself when encountering someone who is like you. That's how Izuku and Ochako are to me.

It takes them identifying with the other to come to terms about themselves.

"But the blushing! The handholding!"

So blushing automatically means "I have romantic feelings for you", is what some of you are saying?

Just gonna forget all the times they and others have blushed out of embarrassment or happiness? That even some characters have the blush stickers to show their sweet innocent nature, like Ochako for most of the story?

Izuku blushed at Katsuki in the final chapter out of happiness, so it can't apply here, too? Why does blushing got to only be used in a romantic sense?

Seeing Izuku blushing looking at Ochako is funny when considering he's holding an (possibly) alcoholic beverage in that same shot. My guy is probably drunk. 😆 Jokes aside, jokes aside.

This is Ochako and Izuku, we're talking about here. They're the Queen and King of MHA characters who blush a lot, no matter what is going on.

And the handholding? In MHA? It happens a lot between characters! It's not like anything new or Izuku and Ochako are going to get cooties.

Look, I might make some people laugh or hate me for this one but when I saw this... I was reminded of this.

For those that don't know, that is from the Predator (1987). Yes, that Predator.

Two characters that have been friends for a long time and just happy to see each other.

We seen this kind of handshake like this before between characters of different and same genders. Either as a greet or as an agreement.

Izuku and Ochako are just agreeing to see each other more and that they should allow themselves to live happy lives. That doesn't mean they're going to start dating and having babies the following week.

"Bakugou is being treated like his wingman!"

Ah, stop right there. Katsuki encouraging Izuku to talk to Ochako isn't like that strange because between Izuku and Katsuki, Katsuki is the one to most likely reveal his emotions. He is more in touch with his emotions than Izuku who while emotional tends to keep everything in.

Katsuki isn't playing wingman. He's playing advisor and someone who has experience with emotions.

Seeing Izuku stumbling over his words and being all nervous trying to talk to Ochako is so in character for him. He has never been too good expressing his emotions.

I doubt Katsuki would be like "go tell her you want to marry her". He is more like "go talk to her, you're friends, remember? Been forever since you had a proper conversation."

It's the same case with Himiko pushing Ochako towards Izuku. She is encouraging her to be happy and not be stuck in the past. Not "go get married".

Happiness doesn't mean you must be in a romance.

Just me, again, but I feel like some people are really just jumping the gun here. If you really are thinking Izuku and Ochako being canon is bad for your ship, that's... I'm sorry, this will be mean of me to say, but that's ridiculous.

A ship being canon shouldn't stop you from enjoying the ships you do like. What ever happen to "ignore canon"? Oh, I guess that becomes irrelevant when you want to cause panic and bash and panic and bash and panic and bash.

Like a handhold like that shouldn't make you feel threatened by that ship.

Just continue shipping your ships! Take it from someone whose favorite ship is of two characters who haven't been seen interacting before.

Even still, with just leaks alone, it doesn't mean they are canon. I have my ships and there's moments in whatever the story makes me ship them but I also don't think every little behavior is meant to be romantic.

The thing I know I'm going to hate about this epilogue isn't even the chapter itself. It's the reactions.

I know some people are going to say this chapter is queerbait and use to it to even go as far as to bash Ochako given she is the woman and it's routine to hate on the woman. It ain't queerbait if Katsuki and Izuku wasn't going to be explicitly a couple themselves. Let's not forget it's Shonen Jump and even though the queer coding can be there, we can't have everything.

Also, I also know that some fans of IzuOcha are going to use this chapter to justify their "authority" of "best ships" and harass people like "my ship is better than yours" and be only concerned about Ochako being a housewife.

I don't think Horikoshi is the greatest human and MHA is a flawless story but some of you are no better to these characters and the story.

[suksatoru]

" 'cause I don't want to be in love with another, even in another life."

Keigo loved you as Icarus loved the sun—too close, too much.

The story of Icarus is a greek myth. One where Icarus made his own wings and was warned of the impending dangers of the sun. He ignored them and flew near it anyway—burning his wings before falling to his death.

hawks x reader & slight dabi x reader

warning; this may be the best piece of fiction i have ever written

Keigo didn't know where exactly he was walking to.

All he knew was that he was on break. As a boy who had just freshly turned sixteen, he was working full time to become one of the greatest hero's to live. It was his dream, one he would work hard to fulfill no matter what it took

He's walking through an unfamiliar neighborhood. It was...a lot like the one he grew up in when he was younger. While this one didn't seem necessarily dangerous, the run down houses and poorly taken care of lawns indicated this wasn't a wealthy area like the ones he was slowly beginning to become accustomed to with his new lifestyle.

But there are children running and playing around, adults sitting on their porches and chatting as they smoke. It was different than what he once knew. He wonders if maybe his old neighborhood is like this now—more open. More free, where people could roam the streets without fear

He almost didn't hear you at first. His steps were optimistic and a little quicker than they usually were as he walked down the sidewalk. He lifted one of his wings to cover his gaze from the relentless sun that beat down on Japan. He almost passed the small sound he heard as an animal scurrying by, but he heard it again—a quiet whimper that suddenly sounded a lot more human.

His footsteps slow in front of the dark alley, and he carefully side steps to enter it. He sees you almost immediately, with your knees pulled to your chest, fingers tugging harshly at the strands of your matted hair as you held your head in your hands

"Hey," He quickly said, kneeling down onto the dirty ground completely as he sits beside you. His eyes are worried as his heart beats faster at your state. What happened to you to have you sitting outside and all alone like this? You couldn't be older than him, maybe you were younger—he decides you're the same age as him when your wide eyes meet his. The look on your face was similar to an animal that had been kicked down too many times, and you instantly push your feet in front of you and backed yourself into the brick wall behind you when you heard his voice

You're almost embarrassed to meet his gaze. I mean, a boy your age was crouching down in front of you during the absolute worst time possible and looking at you with a boyish grin that was too kind for your heart to take. He was dressed in odd clothes you've never seen before, majestic red wings twitching in anticipation behind him as he looks at you with gentle eyes—a striking hue of gold that captivated you in an instant

"Who are you?"

Your voice comes out rougher than you intended it to, strained and hoarse from crying too much as your fingers press into the concrete beneath you. You know you're a mess right now—eyes red and cheeks puffy, clothes tattered and blood smearing your arms from being hit too many times. But Keigo doesn't look at you with any less kindness than he would to a bunny

"I'm Hawks! A hero in training, who's here to save people just like yourself," He smiles, moving to sit beside you as rests his strong back against the wall. His frame was a lot larger than yours and you stiffen beside him, a rare form of envy forming in your stomach as you realize this well put together boy sitting beside you probably got three meals a day judging by the size of his muscles and happy grin—he was far too cheerful for you right now, and you simply didn't have the energy or strength to deal with it

"Please leave me alone." You mumble quietly, discreetly wiping your previous tears with your knuckle. He's quiet for a moment, before he starts speaking again, quieter this time

"It's okay. I know it's bad right now—but I can help. Tell me, dont'cha think these wings can fight off whatever’s hurting you?" He huffs, standing up suddenly to his full height as he spreads his wings out behind him—a show of power. You can see his pearly white teeth poke through his charming smile, and he holds his arms out as he looks down at you

You let out a huff of laughter unlike yourself, your lips forming a wobbly smile as you slowly nod your head

"Unfortunately there's nothing you can really do to help me. I'm...kinda hopeless."

He smiles at your words. A feeling of trepidation prickles at your skin hotly as you prepare to be made fun of. You can already imagine what his taunting laugh would sound like when you suddenly feel a heavy wing wrap around your frail shoulders as he pulls you in for a hug, sitting back beside you on the ground

Your shoulder bumps against his as he pulls you into his side, and Keigo's smile falters when he sees how alarmed you are by the simple gesture. He loosens his hold on you just the slightest bit before sending you an apologetic smile

"You know, the only way out of hard times is through them. Trust me. Why don't you get up and come with me?" He smiles, and the sight of it takes your breath away

The sun was setting over your neighborhood. You had no one who loved you to go back to, no one who would care if you were gone forever

But here, six pm on what had begun as any other day, came your savior. A boy with a smile as golden as his eyes. He was devastatingly beautiful—and he reminded you quite a bit of an angel. He looked and behaved just like one, and you realize he was one.

Keigo watches your hands play with the broken fabric of your sleeve as you stare into his eyes. Your hand twitches as you reach it out towards him, before ultimately curling into a fist as you place it in your lap

He can see the hesitation in your eyes. You had just realized how dirty your hands were, calloused from going unloved and dirty from digging your fingers into the dirt mere hours earlier when you were crying

He uncurls your fist, intertwining his fingers with yours before squeezing gently—his fingers tainted in a quick instant as he grins

He had a really boyish smile. And full cheeks, ones that were like apples whenever he smiled. You squeeze his hand back as he tugs you up to stand

The sun is setting in the horizon, catching his eyes and wisps of beautiful blonde hair in its rays as he walks with you, hand in hand.

You will forever remember the following years of your life with Keigo, the boy who had taken care of you when the world had turned their back

The Hero Public Safety Commission. That was the organization Keigo worked for. You entered the facility with him, gawked at by all the employees who worked there. The walk across the building began as a long one with all the stares you were receiving, but Keigo wrapped a single wing around you to hide you from their gaze

In a matter of months you were implemented into the same program as him. Side by side, you and Keigo became friends.

You've never had a friend, and neither had he. You were slowly introduced and implemented into a new society, one that shined brighter and warmer than the darkness you had grown up in

Keigo was a beacon of hope for you. Slowly, the two of you became a tangible thing. One never caught without the other. From training together to getting your licenses, you slowly built a new life for yourself with him.

The past was slowly being forgotten. The dark times you'd spent cowering under your own parents disappearing as they slowly wasted away—just like all you had ever known.

Keigo made you forget those things. He brought you closer and closer to his heart—allowing you to understand and see what love was like. You unknowingly had done the same for him, teaching Keigo Takami the gentleness of true love.

But you didn't have time actively pursue a relationship with him. While the words were unspoken, the love between the two of you was strong and braided into your very being

"Y/n."

Keigo lays a casual arm around your shoulder, peering around before pressing a sloppy kiss onto your cheek that has you leaning away from him with a groan. Now freshly eighteen, Keigo had grown into an adult. His younger features remained, but they were sharper now. He had grown taller and packed impressive muscle over the years, growing into an admirable hero.

"Gross. Lay off, birdie." You muse, tilting away from him with a heartfelt smile as he laughs loudly

You had grown up too. Your first few days with Keigo were nothing but eye opening. Suddenly, you had a warm meal placed in front of you and someone to share it with. He made sure you went to bed every night with a full stomach, helping you grow into your figure and get stronger

As an emerging hero, you were right behind Keigo, forever holding his hand as he paved a path for the two of you with nothing but determination in those beautiful eyes of his

"We got a mission to go on. Think you're ready for this one? We gotta take down a reallll bad villain." He teases, removing his arm from your shoulder as he slides into the seat across from you. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, and you try and avert your eyes from the way his muscles flexed under his compression tee

"When have I ever chickened out of a mission? Are you ready, Hawks?"

Keigo likes it when you say his hero name like that. It rolls off your tongue nicely, stirring something deep within him with joy

"Born ready. Now come on, we can hit the movies after this mission if we finish early!"

You smile, unknowing of what fate had in store for you and him

The two of you are transported throughout Japan on the usual camouflaged vehicle, going to the villain's reported hideout as you look over his records and files in your hands. Apparently, this villain was one who'd been stealing medicine from all sorts of hospital facilities and wreaking havoc in his trail as he did—reports showed he may plan on reselling them for outrageous prices abroad.

After reviewing the geography of the area, the van rolls to a stop, giving you and Keigo your signal to get out and begin

Breaking in was easier than you thought it would be, but the building was far bigger than you'd anticipated. It would take hours to go through each room and collect the necessary evidence

"All right then, let's split up." Keigo proposes, tightening his grip on the small walkie talkie attached to his hip as you turn to him in surprise

"Split up? But..isn't that a little risky for a mission like this?" You question, hoping he doesn't catch the hesitation in your voice as you utter the words

He looks up. He'd caught the shift in your voice and understood how you felt immediately—he always did.

"Usually yeah, but I got a good feeling about today! Plus, I wanna finish this quickly so I can take us somewhere nice after the movies..." He says, trailing off with a soft grin as he suddenly hooks his finger in the loop of your jeans—pulling you closer to him.

The action has your breath hitching in your throat before you see his hands quickly move to your walkie talkie, working on changing the settings so the SOS button was more accessible. You take a quick and steadying breath before letting out a huff, grumbling profanities under your breath and going on about how he scared you as he laughs

He lets go of your waist once he's all done, looking around the dusty room with attentive eyes

"I'd send one of my feathers with you so I know where you are, but I don't want it to catch unnecessary attention. That's why I tweaked our walkies a bit. You take the left wing and I'll take the right one, so we meet in the middle. Think you can do that, Y/n?" He smirks as you roll your shoulders, sending back an equally amused grin.

"Let's see who gets to the middle first." You say, and his eyes light up at the sound of your challenge

"It's on! Loser does the paperwork summary of the mission!" He yells over his shoulder as his wings flap above you, with one last grin—he flies down the hall and turns towards the right wing with immeasurable speed

You take off the moment after he does, skidding to a stop in front of every door you came across before efficiently checking through them for evidence or trace of the villain

Your mission's main objective was catching the villain—as for all the medicines he'd stolen, they'd be collected by the higher ups soon after.

Most of the rooms were empty. Mainly filled with sparse bookshelves coated with dust as you checked for slots in the walls or anywhere something may be hidden. You wonder if Keigo's found anything before you see a dim light coming from one of the rooms down the hall

Your footsteps are stealthy and silent as you slowly approach the room with caution, your hand held out and ready to activate your quirk at any given moment

A shift of movement from inside confirms your suspicions, and you immediately corner the threat, shoving them hard and driving their back into the wall of the small room

A man that must've been in his mid forties stares at you slack jawed, eyes blown out in terror as a small grunt leaves his throat from where your knee was pushing into his stomach

"Don't move. Stay still so I can take the necessary procedures to take you into custody, sir." You say cooly

This man was keeping hundred of patients from receiving the medicine and care they deserved. The thought flared a spark of anger in you—you were young, just eighteen and filled with a lot of emotion. That's the only reason you pushed your knee further into him as a small, strangled sound leaves his throat

No. Not his throat, from behind you.

Someone else was here.

Your grip on him loosens as you whip around, a scowl on your face for you own stupidness for not confirming how many people you could come across

A small girl lays on a dinky hospital bed, her eyes angry as she glares at you. She couldn't be much older than five, but the look on her face has you loosening your grip on what you'd soon learn is her father

The truth of the situation dawns on you as you look between the father-daughter duo. Multiple IV's and lines were hooked up to her, and her heart rate monitor began to beep rapidly

"Let him go! Let my papa go!"

She's crying, her little chest unable to deal with her racking sobs as your eyes soften

"It's ok, I'm just—"

She suddenly lets out a wail, and you realize the man under you has started crying as well when you feel something wet on your palm. His chest is shuddering from his quiet and pained cries, and you kneel beside him with your heart beating erratically

You weren't taught to deal with this. You were trained how to fight if a villain has murderous intent, you were trained to deal with villains who had long range weapons—but you were never trained for anything like this.

"P-Please stop crying." You whisper, not sure if you're directing it to the little girl or the father

There's shouting in the hallway, and the man stills under you at the menacing sound as the little girl freezes, her small frame shaking with terror as she continued mumbling her father's name over and over again

What was the Commission doing here? They shouldn't be here—this was a mission for only Keigo and you. They enter with large guns, and suddenly the girl is wailing all over again as one of them rams the end of their weapon into the back of her father

You yelp, kicking the Commission worker away hard as you quickly catch the girl's father

"He surrendered! He surrendered, stop it!"

The man looks at you through his mask in confusion before Hawk's suddenly bursts into the small room—his eyes quickly locating you as a relieved sigh leaves his lips

He strides across the room an encases you in a tight hug, before pulling back and looking all over your body for any signs of injuries

"Are you all right? No injuries? No—"

"Did you call them?" You speak, baffled and bewildered as he nods

"You didn't your answer your walkie–dammit I called you eight times, Y/n!"

You still at the memory of you turning down its volume when you were approaching the room. You had meant to turn it back on once you'd gotten the threat under control, but....

"I'm...I'm sorry." You speak, but your apology doesn't sound sincere at all. Your eyes are wide and distracted as they haul the limp man out of the room. The little girl cries softly now as one of the men carefully bring her out too

Keigo pays no attention to either of them—his gaze focused solely on you and beyond worried

"You can't turn it off like that. I thought—I thought—"

He wraps you in a sudden hug, the sound of the workers exiting the room swiftly leaving the two of you standing in silence

Slowly, his breathing evens out as you wrap your arms around him loosely, before tightening them

"He was stealing medicine for his daughter. She was sick, Kei." You whisper, and Keigo knows your mind is scattered when you mistakingly utter his real name

He sighs, cradling your face in his large palms

"Look at me."

You do. But your mind can't help but think of the little girl's sickly state. So much like yours when you were younger. She was pale and too skinny. And something shifts in your gaze as Keigo holds you

"He still stole. It was wrong, but...I understand you're upset. You need to understand he put hundred of other people's lives at risk. That's not ok." He mumbles, gliding his thumb over your cheek as you lean into his touch

"I..."

He shakes his head, knowing you weren't ready to talk as he takes your hand and squeezes it reassuringly

"We'll talk about this later, all right?"

You nod, thankful for the distraction

You never did get to have that talk with him. If only Keigo knew how much this mission would effect you. If only. He would cradle your face for hours and tell you to let it all out—but he didn't. He thought he was doing the right thing when he didn't push you to speak your thoughts

That day was the beginning of the end.

Keigo didn't know when he had begun to lose you. All he knew was that it started slow, growing over the years before the hand he used to hold was suddenly too far out of reach for him to grasp—

He watches the news play on the big TV screens as he stands in the middle of his agency, a crowd gathering around him to watch as well as they murmur their shock and disapproval

Your face was plastered among the League's, your eyes devoid of the light he had once lit as the words WANTED blare alarmingly on the bottom of the screen

It was just yesterday when he asked you out on a date for the first time

"I'm tired, Keigo."

He had been laying on the edge of your bed, his usual smile faltering as he gently squeezes your calf

"I know—that's why I want to take your mind off of everything! You know, we haven't been able to hang out much. I know you're busy with whatever you're doing, so...I thought it'd be good for us."

You've never wanted to kiss him so badly. He was out of his usual hero attire, laying at the foot of your bed with that same smile from all those years ago. Except this time, you don't take the hand he's offering you

"How about another time? I just...need to rest for a bit, ya'know?" You try smiling, and he quickly nods

"That's ok—I'll wait for you. Even if I'm an old, crippled man by the end of it." He jokes, standing up and pressing a quick kiss onto your forehead before he turns to leave

You want to tug him back, tell him everything on your mind and how you're unraveling right in front of him—but he gives you one last smile before closing the door

That was the night you met up with the notorious Dabi who promised to help you.

You had stared at the answer on your anonymous question with a sense of fulfillment taking place of the dread that was once in your chest. After posting the thread where you voiced your feelings on society and how stuck you were—a stranger offered you a role too good to not check out.

Imagine both you and Dabi's surprise when you'd first met.

He had bewitched you the same way Keigo—Hawks—had done all those years ago. Promising you a brighter future if you joined him to fight his cause

His piercing gaze softened a degree by the end of his meaningful conversation with you. Dabi had found someone worthy. A perfect addition to the League—just what he was looking for.

"I love you."

You'd never spoken the words to Keigo before. But with Dabi—your heart burned as bright as his flames. Maybe it would be reduced to ashes by the end of your time with him. But you didn't care.

Dabi's fingers pause from where they were trailing down your cheek, before he smashes his lips into yours

As the League became more and more well known, you and Dabi's romantic relationship did too.

It was true love for Dabi. But was it true love for you?

You weren't in the right headspace. But he didn't care. Dabi took advantage of it, making you solely his in the process. Consuming you and your noble thoughts the way smoke engulfed clean air

Some nights, you'd watch Keigo's recent interviews when you were alone. He'd lost his spark, the light in his eyes you loved to see so much.

You knew it was your fault. But the world was crumbling around you, and you couldn't bring yourself to fix it.

The Commission and Agency marked you up as their one and only failure. Maybe it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't killed the little girl's father after slamming him with criminal charge after charge.

If they had just listened.

Dabi listened to your mindless chatter all the time. Threading his rough palm through your hair as you told him how much you were growing to hate the world. Even when he made love to you, he whispered in your ear how he'd make a better world just for you. His initial plans of destroying it all had flourished into building something a new—like a phoenix rising from the ashes. All for you.

The war came quicker than you wanted it to.

You told yourself you were ready to face Keigo—to help AFO take down your best friend and everything you'd once known.

AFO never sensed any hesitation from you, nor did he sense any hatred. But on the battlefield, as he lifted Hawks into the air by his neck—something in the air shifted.

Hatred and fury like no other surged through it. And your attack came raining down on him like a gunship. No other hero was able to inflict the amount of damage you did, all because it was so unexpected and strong.

It was the sight of your Keigo about to get his wings taken away that awoke something inside of you you'd thought had been burned

You could see the intent in AFO's eyes—his lips curling into a malicious and disgusting grin as he gripped Hawk's throat and stared at his wings.

The same red wings that sixteen year old boy used to shield you.

You're able to get AFO down for about a minute, dread filling your stomach when the realization that he would kill you when he'd wake up hits you

Keigo is barely able to sit up, so weak and so bloodied but so in love, he croaks your name with a desperation like never before.

You're by his side in an instant, your wet tears washing away the dirt on your face as you cradle his face in your lap, kissing him all over softly and murmuring the word sorry over and over

Everything hurts. He wants to yell at you—tell you how you broke his heart when you left. Shattered his resolve and took the remnants of his kid self with you

But war was a tragic thing, and before he could tell you it was ok, or that he was sorry too, or even just that he loved you—

He was met with a hue of blood similar to the color of his wings being splattered all over him as All For One sunk one of Keigo's stray feathers into your back, effectively ending it all as Keigo watched the life drain from your eyes

Keigo Takami was never the same after that day.

[hyog-blog]

Fangs of Fortune (ep. 18 - ep. 20)

I've just noticed the truly abnormal amount of crying all the characters do in this show (like, it's so pretty I'm not complaining, but poor actor babies, I can't imagine the amount of work and emotional turmoil that went into acting all this out for us to enjoy). God bless them pretty people who cry so beautifully - this is truly an art form!

As Zhuo Yichen wisely mentioned in ep.20 "the sea of suffering is endless" - I think it's an actual motto of this show. Like, how many characters can you make suffer in the course of one episode? Quick answer - many, and then some more.

First and foremost - we lost Li Lun! I didn't expect he'd go so early in the series (checks episode count), well, okay, not too early, but I kind of expected him to torment Zhu Yan till the very end. He was such a poor and bitter meow-meow I can't even hate him despite whatever wrongs he has done. Deeply hurt, wounded, lost, and 'betrayed' by his probably only friend. Never even tried to understand his point of view, just went on hurting and hating and plotting his revenge to hurt Zhu Yan the same way he hurt him, and probably even more.

Whatever happened to them was fate (well, at least at this point in the series), but then he chose to follow the path of pain and suffering. Judging by how toxic his revenge has gotten in the end, he must have really loved Zhu Yan. And the irony of Li Lun joining forces with the very people who caught and tortured demons back then, when he and Zhu Yan parted ways. I mean it was kind of narrow-minded of Li Lun to just ditch his only friend so fast. And condemning the whole of humanity just because a few people are bad apples, well, is the same as condemning all demons because some of them are violent. But still, there are those who aren't. What an epic saga of grief and misunderstanding D:

At this point, Zhu Yan must be the saddest Great Demon in the history of Great Demons. I mean come on, how many more deaths and sufferings can he take? (nope, don't answer that, there are still 14 episodes left, I'm sure the show will surprise me more than once XD). I mean, when speaking about being unfortunate, he has had it the worst in the series (he was just 'lucky' to survive long enough to get some happy days and encounters mixed in there as well). But with a countdown of 1 month hanging over his head, I have a feeling things won't be all sunshine and roses for him (again, and again, and again, ah).

"You don't have a heart, but aren't you living in agony, too?" Spot on, Yichen-baby, spot on. I think Zhu Yan's heart might just be bigger than most human's.

Also, how come Zhuo Yichen has gotten even prettier? I love his new look with hair tied up in a bun, official robes and all. He has also matured. The way he was talking about Zhao Yuanzhou merely being the blade of that malicious force and that he shouldn't be punished for what it did through him - my thoughts exactly! The screenwriters conveyed this message so well and I'm happy that the characters also realize this inside the show (still, I have a bad feeling about how things will end for him).

Bai Jiu being a 'traitor' was a fresh take! Cool plot twist. But this is how this Chongwu camp operates - finds people's soft spots and uses either threats or bribes to make them do bad stuff for them. Luckily, no one got hurt (well, uh, not yet). And Pei Sijing has been working with Zhu Yan all this time, yay))) I never wanted to believe that she was an actual traitor, the girl is too cool (and they have a cute thing going on with Wen Xiao, hehe).

Also, I've noticed how in the course of the last few episodes both Zhu Yan and Zhuo Yichen acknowledged each other's, how should I put it, awesomeness? Zhu Yan calling the other guy a dignified gentleman with a righteous heart, unbreakable will, and a character as strong as gold, and Zhuo Yichen admitting that Zhu Yan was a compassionate and righteous demon and that he didn't want to kill him any longer :3 A little bit of honey to balance out the bitterness, ah.

[alexjcrowley]

I have far too few hours of sleep but I am having a sliiight mental breakdown over Ferrari winning yesterday. It was so beautiful it still hurts.

[greylight32]

"you don't say shit to Normal, he's ours"

they share everything, and it is so fucking depressing

[astralhope]

- No, this is one duel I refuse to lose! -

[mingyuskim]

[sysig]

Handplates and haircut and more Handplates after that (Patreon)

[nebulousfishgills]

Reading Emily's saga from HTM to Necrosis (plus Instinct and finishing with Shades of Blue) to @bowersbubbles has been a very rewarding experience, getting real time feedback while I make her laugh, lose her shit, and cry while I swallow mucus by the mouthful since my nose has Issues.

Apologies to my much beloved roommate for having to vaguely hear me reading out loud into the 1 or even 2 AM.

[fuwaprince]

...

[uptownhags]

i have changed in many, many ways since stacy king last released an album but "losing my mind about sucré for 3 people" is a constant that you all should expect tomorrow!!

[joplinspiderz]

this person is just so biteable 💔💔💔

[mrfoox]

Uh. Like month... 4... Without an big breakdown and im 😳 what.... Wha

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

[therealbeachfox]

Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

00000

We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

00000

So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

00000

Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

00000

We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

00000

They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

00000

There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

00000

It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

00000

When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.